You are worthy

My entire adolescence has been intrenched in religion.  I was raised Catholic and up to a certain point lived a Christian life.  I wore a pretty white dress on my first communion, reconciled my juvenile sins with our resident priest, went to confirmation classes and officially became a Christian adult while completing the second sacrament. Since then my relationship with God has changed.  I don't discount the presence of a force outside of human law and cognition, but its form isn't as important to me as is the necessity to live as a kind, generous and gracious person.  I believe in certain aspects of religion, and know of its power to bring people together, to provide salvation, and to spread love.  Adversely I know of religion's capacity to breed hate, to exclude and to suppress.  My experiences with religion in St. Kitts have jarred my opinions a little, as its placement in a developing country has a completely different function. 

In most parts of the country church attendance is high, and there are a plethora of churches from which to worship.  We've managed to attend church twice so far - and this is not from lack of invitations courtesy of our boss and landlady.  I've been weary of attending services  due to the surprisingly brazen introductions I've had to the topic, as the approach to religion on the island is similar to that of the Southern United States.  Along with inquiring after your name, a question about religious affiliation is not far behind.  The question is not whether or not you go to church, but rather what church you go to. I opt not to admit that I am currently a Christmas and Easter Christian.

The services we have attended here have been at Moravian churches.  I've appreciated how we have been welcomed with open arms, given the opportunity to introduce ourselves, and been individually greeted by church members; yet as I sit and listen to the sermons, read the hymns and hear the parishioner's responses, I'm left with the bad taste of servitude from a tarnished spoon.  One phrase I've heard repeated over and over again is "we are not worthy." It is spoken with hands held high, heads hung low, and shortly after the donation basket is circulated. It's spoken to and by a pastor who drives a luxury car to his home in the hills, to a congregation of parishioners who walk to church in their best outfits and shoes, and leave the donation basket filled to the brim with more than they can afford.  I've grown accustomed to a certain amount of hypocrisy in western religion, the wide acceptance that human beings sin, and somehow through prayer we are forgiven. I don't agree with it, but I see it for what it is.  Listening to dozens of people put their problems in to prayer, and only prayer, is different.  The difference lies in this perception of being worthy in--and more importantly--outside of religion. 

This projection of being unworthy, of preaching a message of servitude to a community who's history is dominated by colonialism and slavery is irresponsible.  It continues a culture of oppression that this country's history is riddled with. By no means do I think that religion in the developing world has no place, I just believe that salvation should not take the place of liberation in pursuit of a better life.  Its hard to hear someone praise God for her Cancer remission on an island where there is no Cancer treatment available and its harder still to hear the congregation's support in praising God for her good fortune, rather than demanding better healthcare services, you know, in case prayer fails.  Can't these collective voices be used for progress along with prayer?  There seems to be a missing link that demotivates the voice for change, while a megaphone blasts the lord's prayer.    

YIIP Assignment #2 - The Cultural Iceberg


The cultural differences I've experienced living in Basseterre this past month have been numerous and challenging; some expected, and others not so.   I'll confess that I naively thought that my laid-back, welcoming personality would allow me to easily embrace these differences.  I can bend, but what I've learnt on this trip is that my malleability has its limits.  I've also come to learn that my position here as a representative of a poverty alleviation organization has impacted my stance on some of the cultural differences I've noticed, and has forced me to adopt a critical lens when it comes to the state of St. Kitts.


Generational Relationships

St. Kitts is a small island and the capital, Basseterre, numbers just over 15 000.  To that affect it is very difficult for you to do something (anything) without someone noticing and relaying the information to someone else, and so on.  I've slowly come to accept that everything that Claire and I do is noticed and scrutinized.  Our social choices are judged and questioned.  To some extent this is understandable, but I've discovered that this treatment is due in part to our perceived adolescence, and not strictly because we are foreign transplants in need of guidance.  The relationship between generations is strained at every angle and I have been given the sense that the old adage "children are to be seen and not heard" still holds some merit on the island.  One of the community members we interviewed shared some insight into why there was a lack of pride and camaraderie in his village, and how the treatment and nurturing of the younger generation has had a direct effect.  The gentleman noted that the younger generation hadn't been given confidence and motivation from their parents; that they had seemingly accepted their impoverished, under-educated status and hadn't projected a different life for their offspring.  The concept of motivation as a privilege is devastating to me, but its not hard to sense its absence.  Whether it is at work, at home or at soccer practice, the condescension from the older generation is there.  Younger voices and opinions are dismissed and once shot down they are rarely revived.  From a Canadian perspective I see it as discounting a generation of people who have progressive ideas about how to change the course that the country is on, on how to improve and develop St. Kitts.  From the Kittitian perspective I understand the initial skepticism, but abhor the lack of proactivity. The way children are "dealt with" is undoubtedly not working. Abstinence is promoted on account of the highly religious population, but the amount of young, single mothers on the island is staggering; the average age of prison inmates is under 18 (there are no juvenile detention centres), and gang activity has claimed over half a dozen lives since we've been here.  This isn't to paint a bleak picture of parenting or education; many Kittitians go on to university, and the country has created many wonderful minds, as my boss puts it, but they leave and seldom come back, unable to develop or practice their skills on the island.  The focus--of everyone--seems to be elsewhere.


Race

I am mixed, and I am no stranger to feeling different than my group of predominantly-white friends or the african-american side of my family.  Its a difference that I accept, and an isolation that I am seldom able to express. But, my unique ancestry--as it is mine--is something that defines me and is not a tool for which the inquiring world can utilize in their own one-dimensional definition of who I am.  Living in St. Kitts has allowed me the chance to re-examine how race defines a society, especially one that is predominantly mono-racial.  The other day someone referred to me as "white," and although my initial reaction was to laugh, I realized that being from Canada, and looking like a tourist has implications here that transcend our commonality of skin colour, and I was a little offended.  From the Kittitian perspective my race is representative of my privilege, a disposable income and certain naivety.  I am not so much personally offended by these misguided assessments but as a representative of an organization that promotes self-sustainibility, entrepreneurship and skills-training, seeing the tourism industry ingraining itself into Kittitian culture is highly disturbing to me.  Tourism will always be a large part of the foundation on which St. Kitts builds its economy (a different point of contention all together), but the way in which it is inching its way into the psyche of everyday culture is something I find hard to grapple with, and feel very isolated by.  Obviously it is something I can't personally campaign against.  I am an outsider here, and trying to liberate people to de-commodify me would prove futile, so I'm stuck wondering how the cycle is broken, and if not, how catastrophic the long-term implications are.





Dealing with Conflict

Whether it is true or not, most nations perceive Canadians as polite and friendly.  However, based on my daily interactions with people here in Basseterre, I have a feeling that our "Canadian politeness" is likely perceived as timidity and submissiveness.  People around me are constantly yelling at one another and I am continuously trying to to establish whether or not these elevated conversations are fuelled by anger.  The way people argue in public is not about what is right or wrong, good or bad, its about who commands the most attention, who's quip is timed the best to create a response from the crowd--who, if you're doing it right, will be keeled-over in hysterics.  These arguments happen at the office, at home and during everyday social gatherings.  I have grown accustomed to the volume but not the personal attacks, the mentions of weight or adultery as a means to overtake the conversation.  Apparently there is a line to be drawn, but I can't seem to see where it is.  Our boss is a staunch adversary of the current prime minister of St. Kitts.  The PM recently went on a verbal rampage calling his former colleague a hog, and another a kunumunu man or a "cuckold" as we call them, in response to the positive relationship he has with his wife.  I ask how he gets away with this and learn that the love of showmanship extends to politics; its not social issues people tune- in to hear, but the spectacle they come to see.  As a viewer of Canadian and American programming I know that "entertainment" has slowly become a staple part of news programs, and that campaigning can bring out a gritty side to the men and women we expect to run our countries, but there always seems to be a political undertone to the smearing and defamation.  Some Kittitians have rallied against the prime minister in a vote of "no confidence," naming his verbal harassment as one of the reasons but  the reactions to everyday verbal lashings remain overwhelmingly positive and there is still a level of tolerance. 


It took me what feels like an eternity to write this post.  I'd start, get angry and frustrated by the topics, and then stop.  Its been challenging and cathartic at the same time.  Most of all I think its made me a more critical observer, without infringing on my ability to participate.